Come back Rock, come back.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
#1 reason why you should watch wrestling....
....because it's less embarrassing than almost anything on MTV these days.
Come back Rock, come back.
Come back Rock, come back.
Friday Night Rehash 25Jun10
Hey hey, it's Sunday! Clearly that means I am going to now make up for the fact that on Saturday I didn't review the Thursday night TV show that I watched on Friday. Got that?
Take out this week was brought to you by Chipotle, and even though they don't yet have an online ordering system for my Blackberry, I still love them. Guacamole is proof that God loves me and wants me to be happy.
On with the show:
Quote of the night:
Quotes of the night are a dime a dozen when the Motor City Machine Guns are on commentary. Why aren't these guys on TV more? They had a couple good lines (including a classic sea man double entendre that of course doesn't translate well in to the written word), but my favorite was this one:
"This team (Beer Money) chose their name in homage to the 2001 made for TV movie of the same starring Zach Morris.....IMDB it if you don't believe me."
I'm not ashamed to admit that I was at that moment actually IMDBing it, and I did in fact discover they were telling the truth. Want the synopsis? Of course you do: "Three guys find a space alien in the woods and attempt to sell it to a tabloid TV show, with disastrous results."
This reminds me....Mark-Paul Gosselaar is single now. Who do I have to talk to about a Screech/Zach Morris tag team to face MCMG at the next PPV???? You can't tell me Vince Russo isn't already all over trying to make this happen.
I digress.
Weird sight of the night:
Abyss trying to shove a ring down Hogan's throat. I was suddenly struck by how strange it would be if the Immortal Hulk Hogan died by choking on a ring. I also felt like their should be a special "Don't try this at home" disclaimer after that, for the kiddies.
Alternate weird sight: Madison Rayne trying to be the head mean girl. Not working for me. Still about 10,000 times funnier than "Lay Cool" though. I'm considering filing an FCC complaint with the WWE that expresses my doubt that the team name "Lay Cool" is TV PG. I'm desperately hoping that will get them off the air. I hear they're sensitive about these things these days.
Best moment for non-wrestling fans:
Desmond Wolfe and Kurt Angle are always a good example of wrestling, doesn't matter who you are.
Overall rating for non-wrestling fan friendliness: 7 out of 10
Good wrestling, entertaining commentary, I would definitely have showed this to a non fan and expected some amusement.
Overall rating of the show if you like the show and are a fan already: 7 out of 10
Held my interest, went pretty all things considered.
One point deducted for the fact that I'm still weirded out by how often Shannon Moore tweets about lawn care. In case you're curious, today he's fixing his fence.
Overall rating of the takeout: 9 out of 10
They forgot my sour cream. Dammit, the sour cream!
Take out this week was brought to you by Chipotle, and even though they don't yet have an online ordering system for my Blackberry, I still love them. Guacamole is proof that God loves me and wants me to be happy.
On with the show:
Quote of the night:
Quotes of the night are a dime a dozen when the Motor City Machine Guns are on commentary. Why aren't these guys on TV more? They had a couple good lines (including a classic sea man double entendre that of course doesn't translate well in to the written word), but my favorite was this one:
"This team (Beer Money) chose their name in homage to the 2001 made for TV movie of the same starring Zach Morris.....IMDB it if you don't believe me."
I'm not ashamed to admit that I was at that moment actually IMDBing it, and I did in fact discover they were telling the truth. Want the synopsis? Of course you do: "Three guys find a space alien in the woods and attempt to sell it to a tabloid TV show, with disastrous results."
This reminds me....Mark-Paul Gosselaar is single now. Who do I have to talk to about a Screech/Zach Morris tag team to face MCMG at the next PPV???? You can't tell me Vince Russo isn't already all over trying to make this happen.
I digress.
Weird sight of the night:
Abyss trying to shove a ring down Hogan's throat. I was suddenly struck by how strange it would be if the Immortal Hulk Hogan died by choking on a ring. I also felt like their should be a special "Don't try this at home" disclaimer after that, for the kiddies.
Alternate weird sight: Madison Rayne trying to be the head mean girl. Not working for me. Still about 10,000 times funnier than "Lay Cool" though. I'm considering filing an FCC complaint with the WWE that expresses my doubt that the team name "Lay Cool" is TV PG. I'm desperately hoping that will get them off the air. I hear they're sensitive about these things these days.
Best moment for non-wrestling fans:
Desmond Wolfe and Kurt Angle are always a good example of wrestling, doesn't matter who you are.
Overall rating for non-wrestling fan friendliness: 7 out of 10
Good wrestling, entertaining commentary, I would definitely have showed this to a non fan and expected some amusement.
Overall rating of the show if you like the show and are a fan already: 7 out of 10
Held my interest, went pretty all things considered.
One point deducted for the fact that I'm still weirded out by how often Shannon Moore tweets about lawn care. In case you're curious, today he's fixing his fence.
Overall rating of the takeout: 9 out of 10
They forgot my sour cream. Dammit, the sour cream!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Here it is, your moment of zen...6-25-10
I'm a little confused why Nancy Reagan didn't feature this ad more prominently in her war on drugs.....I would have loved to see him repeat this ad with a variety of other substances.....
Talking heads and their wrestling potential
After yesterday's post, everybody's favorite brother THE MARK asked me who I thought Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck would be if they were wrestlers.
Intriguing.
I don't listen to any of them regularly....I came closest with Rush, but that was years ago. Hannity I listened to on the night shift, Bill's my favorite of the group and Glenn Beck is, well, a little insane for my taste.
So now that you know my bias, here we go:
Rush Limbaugh: Hulk Hogan. Very few people have been as influential for as long as these two men. Love Rush or hate him, I respect the staying power. Both rose to fame in distinctly 80s-esque ways, Rush on talk radio, the Hulkster in yellow, red and an eerie orange tan. Their critics have pointed to the same flaws repeatedly "If Rush is so smart why won't he run for office?" "If Hogan's so great, why won't he put over any younger guys?" but no one can question that they are the defining forces of their fields.
Bill O'Reilly: Bobby "The Brain" Heenan....not a wrestler but a manager and color commentator. He excelled at getting people to hate him, and while "The Brain" moniker was supposed to refer to his dastardly scheming, you always got the feeling that he really was a little bit smarter than the majority of the people he worked with.
Glenn Beck: This is a tricky one. Glenn inhabits a very special place in media these days, and I'd like to honor that. I thought at first of the Bushwhackers, for their perseverance in their ring entrance, but the Bushwhackers were never famous enough to do Glenn justice. Then I thought of Steve Austin, but he's a little too basic. I was shying away from the choice I originally settled on, but after rethinking it, it just feels right: The Ultimate Warrior. Only the Warrior shares the "is he serious is he joking is he crazy" feeling that I've come to know and love about Glenn Beck. Part performer, part deadly serious, part controversy maker, these two have probably met (as the Warrior is now a conservative motivational speaker) and I bet on some level respect each other. I'm not sure I'll ever get down how to take either of them.
Before I continue, I would like to say a few words. I compiled this list using "Do or Die" methodology. Basically, I tried to picture how I thought each of these men would react if they were kidnapped, drugged, and informed that they had to fight it out with a liberal in a death match. For Rush, Bill and Glenn, this was not hard. They would fight, and I think they'd have a fair shot at winning just on sheer spirit (provided their opponent was equal in age and um, stature). I respect that about them.
That idiot Hannity however, would be dead. Hannity would make the fatal error of trying to whine his way out of it, and he would be shot by the kidnappers before ever getting in the ring. I refuse to envision Hannity as a wrestler. I just can't do it. I have never heard someone so often edit their callers or go for the cheap applause so often. He sucks. He's terrible. He's soft like terry cloth. Plus, he's already had a run in with the Warrior, and he was clearly frightened. I mean, I think Rush would have at least pondered the idea of getting in the ring with him:
As a parting gift to you though, I would like to mention that while you didn't ask about Ann Coulter, she would be the Fabulous Moolah. Because if I had to pick someone around today who I thought might flash a stadium full of people while in their 80s, it would be Ann. Can't you see it?
Intriguing.
I don't listen to any of them regularly....I came closest with Rush, but that was years ago. Hannity I listened to on the night shift, Bill's my favorite of the group and Glenn Beck is, well, a little insane for my taste.
So now that you know my bias, here we go:
Rush Limbaugh: Hulk Hogan. Very few people have been as influential for as long as these two men. Love Rush or hate him, I respect the staying power. Both rose to fame in distinctly 80s-esque ways, Rush on talk radio, the Hulkster in yellow, red and an eerie orange tan. Their critics have pointed to the same flaws repeatedly "If Rush is so smart why won't he run for office?" "If Hogan's so great, why won't he put over any younger guys?" but no one can question that they are the defining forces of their fields.
Bill O'Reilly: Bobby "The Brain" Heenan....not a wrestler but a manager and color commentator. He excelled at getting people to hate him, and while "The Brain" moniker was supposed to refer to his dastardly scheming, you always got the feeling that he really was a little bit smarter than the majority of the people he worked with.
Glenn Beck: This is a tricky one. Glenn inhabits a very special place in media these days, and I'd like to honor that. I thought at first of the Bushwhackers, for their perseverance in their ring entrance, but the Bushwhackers were never famous enough to do Glenn justice. Then I thought of Steve Austin, but he's a little too basic. I was shying away from the choice I originally settled on, but after rethinking it, it just feels right: The Ultimate Warrior. Only the Warrior shares the "is he serious is he joking is he crazy" feeling that I've come to know and love about Glenn Beck. Part performer, part deadly serious, part controversy maker, these two have probably met (as the Warrior is now a conservative motivational speaker) and I bet on some level respect each other. I'm not sure I'll ever get down how to take either of them.
Before I continue, I would like to say a few words. I compiled this list using "Do or Die" methodology. Basically, I tried to picture how I thought each of these men would react if they were kidnapped, drugged, and informed that they had to fight it out with a liberal in a death match. For Rush, Bill and Glenn, this was not hard. They would fight, and I think they'd have a fair shot at winning just on sheer spirit (provided their opponent was equal in age and um, stature). I respect that about them.
That idiot Hannity however, would be dead. Hannity would make the fatal error of trying to whine his way out of it, and he would be shot by the kidnappers before ever getting in the ring. I refuse to envision Hannity as a wrestler. I just can't do it. I have never heard someone so often edit their callers or go for the cheap applause so often. He sucks. He's terrible. He's soft like terry cloth. Plus, he's already had a run in with the Warrior, and he was clearly frightened. I mean, I think Rush would have at least pondered the idea of getting in the ring with him:
As a parting gift to you though, I would like to mention that while you didn't ask about Ann Coulter, she would be the Fabulous Moolah. Because if I had to pick someone around today who I thought might flash a stadium full of people while in their 80s, it would be Ann. Can't you see it?
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Wacky Wrestling Quote Wednesday - June 22nd
In a stroke of genius this weekend, I created a twitter account just to follow wrestlers. Wrestlers are famous enough to want to promote themselves, but not so famous that you doubt that it's really them. Some of them are barely literate and boring, but some are pretty hysterical. My favorite tweets so far come from Jeremy Borash. He's not actually a wrestler, he does the back stage commentary. He does have a great twitter feed though.....and here are the two best for this week:
Sharing arena w Glenn Beck & Bill O'Reily tonight in Columbus. Walked into their dressing rooms w Abyss & Shark Boy. They were not amused. Seeing Bill O'Riley mark out for Shark Boy may have been the most surreal thing witnessed since I introduced Sabastian Bach to Kamala via Echofon
Bill O'Reilly a Shark Boy fan (mark out = have a little kid like fan reaction)? Who knew? Although he is quite a bold fresh piece of humanity....
Sharing arena w Glenn Beck & Bill O'Reily tonight in Columbus. Walked into their dressing rooms w Abyss & Shark Boy. They were not amused. Seeing Bill O'Riley mark out for Shark Boy may have been the most surreal thing witnessed since I introduced Sabastian Bach to Kamala via Echofon
Bill O'Reilly a Shark Boy fan (mark out = have a little kid like fan reaction)? Who knew? Although he is quite a bold fresh piece of humanity....
Sunday, June 20, 2010
I can't believe I missed this.....
I always knew you could teach a pretty good freshman creative writing class using nothing but examples from wrestling, but it wasn't until today that I realized exactly how philosophical wrestling is. Is this not existentialism at it's finest? Is this not an ode to mans constant striving through life, searching for meaning? First, you capture the championship, only to spend all your time defending it? What is the purpose of all this madness? How then shall we live?
If Dostoevsky was around today, he'd be working for Vince McMahon.
If Dostoevsky was around today, he'd be working for Vince McMahon.
Just how unlikely?
My love of wrestling is baffling to most people.
In my blog tagline posits that I am an unlikely wrestling fan. Let me unpack that. First: I am female. Most wrestling fans are male. Second: I am 28, and I never watched wrestling prior to 2006. Third and beyond: I am a Mensa member. I am a feminist. I have a household income well above the national average. I am a New Englander.
Now this all doesn't make me perfectly unique. Many people join me in any one category, and probably quite a few in all. How many? Let's try it out.
Let's say there are about 15,000,000 people who live in New England. Cut it in half to get just the women....7,500,000. Mensa members must be in the top 2% of the population for IQ, so let's get down to 150,000 or so. According to the best stat I could find, around 29% of women consider themselves feminists, so we're down to 45,000. I am 28, and according to the best population tree I could find, 25-29 year olds make up about 3% of the population, leaving 1,350 of us. At the height of wrestling in 1999, 16% of white Americans claimed to be wrestling fans. Taking that number leaves us with 216 folks like me. Take my household income as higher than average leaves 100 or so of us. Factor in the late start to fandom, and you're down even lower. Even if you stick with the 100 (which I will to make up for assuming that Mensa members make evenly distributed salaries or that self defined feminist are evenly distributed among age ranges....though I also didn't even touch the "are the genders equally represented in high IQ societies" question). Still, that puts me in a very select group, approximately 0.0007% of the New England population, even less country-wide.
All in all, you're pretty lucky to be reading this.
In my blog tagline posits that I am an unlikely wrestling fan. Let me unpack that. First: I am female. Most wrestling fans are male. Second: I am 28, and I never watched wrestling prior to 2006. Third and beyond: I am a Mensa member. I am a feminist. I have a household income well above the national average. I am a New Englander.
Now this all doesn't make me perfectly unique. Many people join me in any one category, and probably quite a few in all. How many? Let's try it out.
Let's say there are about 15,000,000 people who live in New England. Cut it in half to get just the women....7,500,000. Mensa members must be in the top 2% of the population for IQ, so let's get down to 150,000 or so. According to the best stat I could find, around 29% of women consider themselves feminists, so we're down to 45,000. I am 28, and according to the best population tree I could find, 25-29 year olds make up about 3% of the population, leaving 1,350 of us. At the height of wrestling in 1999, 16% of white Americans claimed to be wrestling fans. Taking that number leaves us with 216 folks like me. Take my household income as higher than average leaves 100 or so of us. Factor in the late start to fandom, and you're down even lower. Even if you stick with the 100 (which I will to make up for assuming that Mensa members make evenly distributed salaries or that self defined feminist are evenly distributed among age ranges....though I also didn't even touch the "are the genders equally represented in high IQ societies" question). Still, that puts me in a very select group, approximately 0.0007% of the New England population, even less country-wide.
All in all, you're pretty lucky to be reading this.
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